Changes, changes, changes...

Some of this post is venting, some of it is explaining and some of it is soundboarding. Read or don't read, contribute or don't contribute, as you see fit.

As you may have noted, of late my warlock blog has become a little less warlock themed and a little more alt-themed, with my posts ranging from random game minutia to paladins to shaman to priest to warlock to bear to quests to trivia to etc.

As such, I'm contemplating changing the title of my blog. Still at kdots since, why not, but a different title page than 'More dots!'.

I just don't know what I'd change it to! More alts! More alts! just doesn't have the same ring to it, imnsho.

Other changes that may be in the air is I'm contemplating retiring as an officer in my guild. Right now, I'm basically just a guild-invite program. And that doesn't seem fair to the other officers. I have given to my guild, ideas, time, effort, and I'm contemplating taking some time to just be me and play the game, without worrying about leveling this character for the guild, but instead leveling my character for me.

I already feel very guilty that my retribution paladin is level 79 and my next highest is my restoration shaman at 73. My tank(s) hasn't(haven't) been touched. My 'main stream' DPS classes haven't really been touched either. Yet I can't find it in myself to level them right now. And I hate feeling guilty for it. I'm not the only officer, nor am I the only officer leveling a DPS as opposed to a tank or healer, but me being me... being raised Roman Catholic with a heavy dose of Italian Grandma... I can't help but wince and wonder when people are going to pounce on me and say, "Why are you leveling THAT? You're going to go prot/holy with her, right? You surely aren't staying RET, right?!" and that is exactly what I am going to do - stay retribution with my paladin.

I'm having too much fun enjoying the game with Kvasira, and then I feel guilty for it. That isn't how I want to play, y'know? My paladin started ret. Has been ret. And will stay ret.

And I want to stop feeling guilty about who I play and who I take to instances and who I sign up to go on raids with.

I started Guild Event Days for the guild and organized several of them, but then people stopped showing up and I lost interest in trying to organize something for people who didn't show up. Another officer has taken over running GED's, and I'm glad because they are an awesome idea for a friend-oriented guild and I'd hate for my apathy for anything officer-related to kill a great idea.

I used to help organize raids, but I stopped that a while back, for a variety of reasons, and haven't started it yet again. Granted, the only raids we could do would be the old 10-mans in BC and Classic, but I still have no interest in trying to organize it. Figuring out who to take, why to take them, why to have someone go as someone else, trying to balance raid utility and classes and this and that and blah blah blah. I don't want to do it anymore.

I tend to be a bossy person, especially in something I feel I do well. I think I have a good handle on people and their abilities and I put out an expectation and I find that usually people live up to that expectation. And I feel that given those things, how well I do things, the effort I put into things, that my opinion should count for something.

The downside to my personality is that when I have my face rubbed in the fact that I'm a bossy person, I get horrified. I wasn't raised to be a bossy person. I was raised to be a good little Catholic Italian girl and wash the dishes and do the laundry and keep my mouth shut when other people are talking so I don't hurt their feelings with my own inconsequential thoughts. Now, I say that and I tell you that my parents did not realize they were raising me that way, and undoubtedly would be horrified if they realized that I equated my upbringing with that outcome, and then they'd laugh at the mere thought that I came out that way (because I didn't), but I still know that's the way I should be.

So I get horrified, my opinion made to be less than I thought it was worth, and I go crawl into a hole made of my own shattered self-esteem, pride and emotions. It's a vicious cycle. And instead of scaling back my behavior, I go 180 to what I was, so instead of being bossy and authoritative about what I'm doing, I go to not participating much at all.

Such is me.

Such happened to me not too long ago. I did what my bossy opinion told me was the right thing to do, based on what I knew about the game, the mechanics involved, etc, etc, and it blew up in my face.

So poof, I go to not organizing anything.

So, I don't organize, I don't participate except to say 'I'll go as whatever' and I do nothing except feel guilty about shirking my self-imposed leveling duties.

So I ask myself, "Why am I an officer? Is it a rank thing? So I can say 'I'm an officer!'"

What is power without responsibility? I'm not abusing my power, but I'm not doing anything with it either. Is it still then appropriate for me to be an officer? Or worse, am I an officer for no other reason than time spent in the guild and the sheer amount of alts that I have?

I'm not saying anyone did this, but my paranoia can't help but say...

"Make K an officer, so this way we can tap any of her alts we want to have come, rather than waiting for her to offer it herself."

In other news, my warlock has not moved much in the last little bit, and I've fallen far behind the raiding guild requirement of level 80 by December 1st. I don't think they CARE that she isn't level 80, but I don't feel comfortable keeping her in a raiding guild if I'm not planning on raiding with her anytime really soon. Yet more of the 'if I'm sitting in there taking up a spot (not that a virtual spot takes much room anyway), I should be doing what is expected. So if I'm not doing what is expected, maybe I should not be there.'

We're going on vacation for the holidays starting the 22nd until New Years Eve. Honestly, I can't wait for the break. Not that I'm not enjoying the heck out of the expac, but I think I need to take some time and evaluate where I want to go with the game, where I find myself going and what I want to do next.

And damnit, I need an epic flying mount on my paladin. Boon spends most of our in-flight time zooming circles around me and making train noises.

Mini-Rant and Other Things

Two of the blogs that I read recently discussed the PvP/Badge/PvE Tier gear question. Namely: Is it right that people can PvP or Heroic their way into T5 and T6 equivalent gear?

Neither said it was out and out wrong and people in "welfare epix" should be stoned on sight. Both posted their opinions on it and asked what other people thought (or implied that they ask, since it's a public open to comments blog).

One wasn't as happy with it and was recounting how in the past PvPers were crying how people in T2 armor were owning BG's and the dearth of people willing to do heroics for gear or badges since they can grind their way through some BG's and honor to get gear.
The other was kind of equivocal about it and said how he thinks progression gear needs to be fixed so that newcomers to level 70 don't have to PvP to "catch up quickly" to their raidmates for the high end raid encounters.

Both of them had people saying rather nasty things to (and in one case, about) them.

Now, one is BBB and I'm sure everyone who reads me reads him and knows all about the issue.

The other is a newer (to me) feral druid blog I've encountered. The blog was well written. It wasn't inflammatory. It basically outlined the blogger's point of view on the issue and WHY they had that point of view.

That's what a blog is for. Now, some blogs cater to the theorycrafters. Some cater to the ... not-theorycrafters. But in the end, a blog is a personal place unless it's something like WoWInsider, where you should expect a certain level of writing and a certain level of information (facts, not opinion). But a personal blog is just that. Personal.

We make it public because that's the type of people we, as a society, are. We want to say our thoughts outloud and in most cases, hear your opinions on it.

If the person posted his thoughts about why he thought TRB's opinion wasn't well thought out... that's one thing. This person however, said that the blog was boring, sounded like something off of trade-chat and that maybe the blogger should consider stopping blogging all together.

Now, maybe he does think it's boring. Maybe the trade chat he frequents is more high-brow than the trade chat that I'm used to reading. But his response was very rude and highly uncalled for, IMNSHO.

If you find someone's blog boring... you don't tell them to shut up. You stop reading their blog. Problem solved! Just because YOU find the blog boring, doesn't mean that other people do. Doesn't mean the person blogging does. So, just wander away and go be rude to someone else, plzkthx.

Now, onto other things. Non-WoW related. Go cry somewhere else if you're going to complain that my warlock blog is delving into bear tanks and real life briefly.

Wii Fit is ... addicting. And kind of embarassing to realize how out of shape I really am! I've unlocked everything so far. I typically spend most of my time on the Yoga and Strength training, with the advanced step aerobics and hula hoop exercises and a random assortment of two or three balance games each day.

Today.. I did the shoulder stand. I wasn't exactly STRAIGHT... but I did it. And damn does that feel good to accomplish!

I need to work on getting the wiimote to register right for the tricep extension exercise -- I'll do it but it won't register that I did it! And the push-up and side-plank exercise... sometimes won't register that I just grunted and groaned my way through a knee's down but complete push-up. Which makes me feel unappreciated!

Back to WoW!
I took my rogue into Kara last night. She got three drops - a something I can't remember (I want to say a ring, but I can't find it right now), a cloak and her gloves. Three drops. Out of the whole damn place. Everything that dropped was cloth healing gear or mail or plate! Hate. you. Karazhan.

She was 5th out of 6 DPS. She was pushing around 450-500 DPS. The people above me are all people who are in mostly epics, compared to my blue-geared rogue. I meet the "minimum" requirements that my guild requires, so I didn't feel too bad about coming in, but I was well aware that I wasn't as much of a help. I did however... live through Prince. The other rogue... did not. GO ME!

Boon wants to get his tank Fyzzgig up there, so expect more ret paladin stuff (yay, Kvasira!) to follow.

Plans for Kikidas are to try to figure out did I really DE my Spellstrike Hood, or is it just hiding from me? I can't find it anywhere, and I'm such an armor-hog (you should see my bank), I can't imagine that I DE'd it, but I can't find it anywhere! She's also going into ZA now so maybe I'll get something new and shiny! It's progression ZA, but ZA nontheless.

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July!